Panjandrum and Machinations

Today there will be two words, both nouns: 

panjandrum, yesterday’s word, which means a self-important or pretentious official, and 

machinations, today’s word, which means a crafty scheme intended to accomplish some usually evil end.

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“Who appointed you the panjandrum of the homeowners association?” the irate woman yelled over the airwaves. At the other end of the line the recipient of the call held the phone at arms length to protect her eardrums from the tirade. This was the third person today who complained about the very “friendly” notices she had prepared herself and delivered personally to everyone’s mailbox advising them that their Christmas holiday decorations must be dismantled no more than 30 days after the holiday was over. Honestly, she thought, as she placed the phone gently on the table, there was no need to call names just because she was trying to make everyone follow the community’s standards; her intentions bore no unsavory machinations. She went back to reading her home and garden magazine as the caller, oblivious to the fact that no one was at the other end of the phone listening, continued to rant her displeasure. But while she was looking over the ingredients of a cake recipe, she pondered whether she should call the telephone company and switch to a different phone number before she delivered her handcrafted February notices that reminded each homeowner to refrain from decorating on Valentine’s Day since that particular celebration was not included on the community’s list of authorized exterior decorating holidays.

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